A friend compared what happened with a partner and my own publisher in New York to a kind of personal atomic bomb! Then they sent me these two remarkable photos of Nagasaki in 1945, and Nagasaki after the earthquake and tsunami this year. If, as they said kindly, I’m someohow the still standing arch, or you can’t really destroy a spirit, only push it terribly out of shape, I wonder what they left me with, and about the collatoral damage too. Yet it isn’t so irrelavent when you find yourself arguing with a publishing CEO, as I did, that if man’s mind can invent bombs, or split the atom, can create the ‘brilliance’ of neutron bombs, that wipe out thousands of people, but leave buildings standing, perhaps negative energy really can build up and transfer harm from a novel into the real world. Or it was at least worth trying to heal something, and worth channelling love to try and do real miracles. They just cancelled a book again, and after being labelled ‘evil’ by someone I loved and needed, either as partner or friend, what was more evil in that situation? Of course it was conventionally ‘mad’, but in the situation of an eyesight problem in a real person being written all over the pages of a novel, I still insist we are connected on levels we sometimes have no idea of, and that certain breaches of responsibility can do enormous harm. As Abrams and a group of people who knew each other did enormous harm, not only to an author’s career, and his stories, but in the world around me too. I lost myself very badly, went very dark, but refuse to carry a true story alone, especially if we are connected in certain unknown ways, and while I’ve just started doing Tai Chi again, perhaps we all need to study and follow the Tao. The problem is, as the Master says, if you think you know how to teach it, then you do not understand the Way at all! DCD

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Filed under America and the UK, London, New York, The Phoenix Story

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