“I will take you at your word to never mention Abrams again. I believe you are focusing so much on these past hurts that they continue to follow you into the present with like results. The energy is low and the vampires are attracted. You have, in a sense, invited them in. Focus that valuable attention to work on the new beginnings you have created for yourself and your loyal readers.” WiseWolf
As a fantasy author, to a reader, WiseWolf, we take the understood metaphor, and the value of it too. You are right, and thank you. I lost my own Patronus charm, and beautifully balanced love, the gateway to a world of creativity and happiness, a new world too in the States, but in the end, and this is what I was saying in a mounting crisis that someone refused to hear, I had and have only myself to ‘blame’. Then I began to shout. Well, there was another ‘vampire’ who got in, a so-called ‘best friend’ in London, and as someone I loved and trusted slammed a door, that was impossible to cope with. The vampires too were in the pasts and private lives of several people who made me their scapegoat and their easy ‘evil’. Who also breached real professionalism, under contract. I don’t need ‘loyal’ readers, I don’t deserve you, and I should not have asked for too much support, but if I can give back some positive strength and meaning in future, I will. A story, a fiction, is a contained adventure that carries meanings, answers, risks, hopes and inspirations reflecting but also beyond ‘the real world’. Separate from it, like a hopefully good mirror, beyond all life’s and nature’s difficulties. It is about the making of meaning, we have in all of us. When I faced such awful personal blocks, right at the second most sacred place, the place of work, then such invasions, the negatives began to spill not only into emails, but everywhere. I know I should have been stronger, strength contains, especially male strength, action was the answer, but I was tied there and I wasn’t strong. No one should have seen it or heard it, except that it is an extraordinary true story as well, when you hear it all. But that was then, and it is only returning to the dead past that ties me anywhere at all. It is in the head, but it is quickly reflected in reality too, in some strangely karmic way. Those vampires of the mind and heart can become enormously real, crippling for us all, but let them come still, if they dare, and with thoughts of a spirit like yours, I’ll knock them into eternity. We can all blaze with love and light, if we know the true places of our whole selves. DCD
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