Category Archives: Community

MICHEL ROUX RUES THE DAY THE BBC FORGOT HOW TO BE MASTERCHEFS

Have you seen the news that Mr Masterchef himself, the ever charming and supremely talented Michel Roux has just fallen out with the increasingly tasteless and cynical BBC over continuing tv culinary delights. He has our sympathy, especially because we can’t afford to eat at his restaurant and would love to, but perhaps he needs some heartening words about the rich biting back.

Michel might like the taste of the Demon Barber of Fleet Street, Sweeney Todd, in Horrid Heroes and Crazy Crooks below, which contains both him and a feast of TV Masterchefs.

To see the poem just CLICK HERE MICHEL

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THE GARDEN MUSEUM, THE TRADESCANTS AND GOING IN SEARCH OF THE ARK

London_garden_museum_-20_garden_and_church
I had a very eccentric little treat this week, doing the Lambeth walk from my home, down to St Mary’s relatively recently deconsecrated church, right by beautiful Lambeth Palace, and thanks to the endeavours of a dedicated local couple today The Garden Museum. It takes its theme from the lovely and very rare tomb of the Tradescant family, in the traditional Jacobean Knot garden behind. John Tradescant senior being a man of many plants, plots, travels and fascinating schemes, first for Elizabeth I’s chief advisor Robert Cecil. They don’t make them like that anymore. Like father, like son, under King James I, but one of the testaments to a King’s many errors being the large, crook branched Mulberry tree nearby. The Scots King James, dreaming of his Greate Britaigne, the hope of legal Union with Scotland that foundered for 100 years and is perhaps about to collapse again, tried to compete with the silk trade but imported the wrong kind of mulberry, the black variety that silk worms do not like! So perhaps people have been making excuses about the wrong kind of snow or leaves ever since.

But the fascinating Tradescants, brought to life in a colourful historical novel by Phillipa Gregory, opened the very first public museum in what they called The Ark, on their estate on the edge of Lambeth Road. Appropriate stuff for Phoenix Ark Press then. It would become the basis for the Ashmolean Museum in Oxford when Elias Ashmole, mason, social climber, Herald at the College of Heralds and highly self-serving fellow, co-opted it from John Tradescant the younger, then fought a court case with his wife Hester, who was allowed to keep the contents for her life time. Hester died in somewhat questionable circumstances. A cabinet of rare curiosities, The Ark may have cost a hefty six pence to visit, when an average theatre ‘ticket’ was a penny, but it was technically open to all. Then the ‘democratic’ nature of that age before James I and then a Civil War ruined everything is also the fact that in 1612 The Virginia Trading Company had opened its first Free Standing Lotterie for anyone with a ready Twelvepence, to fund ventures in the Americas. It was soon taken up by all thirteen original colonies, so is a remarkably early origin to that so-called “American Dream” and straight out of that always very capital minded and adventuring London.

The Tradescant tomb stands right next to the monument to the Bligh family, and that Captain of The Bounty and mutiny fame, who lived just opposite the coming Imperial War Museum on Lambeth Road, a man of Bread Fruits, tough navy values and the most extraordinary feat of survival and navigation, when he was set adrift by his men. As my volunteer neighbour Kay and an ex ambassador to Mongolia pointed out though, the delicate carvings on the Tradescant tomb, restored four times now, have mythical rather than religious themes, like the seven headed and heavy breasted hydra guarding a skull, masonic pyramids, and curling stone groves and grottos. All good grist to the mill of Gary, another neighbour, friend, scholar of the esoteric and expert in Chinese textiles, who has a special interest in the likes of Dr John Dee and Simon Foreman. Foreman was a self taught astrologer, geomancer and proto Doctor, who was hounded by the licensed Doctors in the City over the water, with their surgeon’s hall on Silver Street, where Shakespeare lived a while, until he got his own licence to practice from Cambridge in 1603. Repeatedly locked up in those litigative spats so beloved of Elizabethans, constantly thinking of taking ship, and a man of somewhat rampant reputation with the ladies, who called sex to halek, Foreman lived in the house of a Mr Pratt in Lambeth, hence Pratt’s Walk, right over the road. A practicing Christian, while also casting his horoscopes, helping Elizabethans dig for buried treasure, providing love charms and tokens and tending to rich and poor, but not retreating from the great plagues either in that astonishingly fragile world, he was doubtless just as good as licensed Doctors of the time. He married in St Mary’s at 7am in the morning, in 1599. That year the famous wooden and thatched Globe Theatre rose on Bankside in Southwark and it is of course from Foreman’s diaries that we have one of the only accounts of visits to Shakespeare’s performances, in Foreman’s case Macbeth, Cymbeline and The Winter’s Tale.

Foreman, who is also buried somewhere in the church, was of course most interested in the witches in Macbeth but is a man whose reputation was especially blackened by being linked not just to that Occult that influenced so many, including Shakespeare, but to the famous Overbury murder, even though the poor man had himself been dead two years. As he was lampooned on stage by Ben Jonson, Foreman was described in court by Sir Edward Coke as “that devil Foreman“. Coke was of course the lawyer who changed the world, and built his own fortune too, when he gave the ruling in 1606 that the King could arrest no man except by good cause of the English law. Early soundings of a Civil War. A woodcut of Foreman with bristling necromantic beard adds to the dark myth, as does the legend that he predicted his own death in a journey across the Thames from Puddle dock, crying out “an impost, an impost“. As his biographer AL Rowse says, no doubt he had a natural intimation of the stomach ulcer that probably ended things in a straining boat trip, and in a world very fond of “mystergoguery and hermetic nonsense“. Perhaps it is about a different kind of language too. Elias Ashmole is buried in St Mary’s as well, although we only got closer in our pilgrimage when our guide kindly snuck us into the office, where his grave is somewhere below the photocopy machine. She also showed us the exquisite ‘Peddlar’s Window’ though, a little gem of stained glass and the bequest of a local man made good. Though it may be a restoration, since most of the Church windows were blown out when a WWII bomb droped on Lambeth palace, despite the Nazi’s famous avoidance of St Paul’s (not quite, in fact).

With strange purpose-built wooden exhibition rooms inside a remarkably large and impressive church, which in the days when Lambeth, or ‘the lamb’s bath’, was near open country must have dominated the edge of the river and that ‘horse ferry’ crossing that set the topography of today’s Lambeth Bridge, long after only covered London Bridge was the gate into the City, the Garden Museum is rather oddly done and awkwardly laid out too. Indeed, although I did not see the permanent exhibits, in such a place it is the suddenly discovered curiosities like that window that really delight, or a plaque to a D’Oily Cart, along with perhaps the finest cake in England, tasted at the nice little bar restaurant. It hums gently with older folk, pretty girls in their tiny jumbled office or students sketching plants in the garden, although it has the security and capacity now to have exhibited a Canaletto, among other things. But it should take the lead of John, Hester and their Ark, not nasty, grandiose Elias at all, and revel in sharing the eccentric, archaic and the curious.

It’s very existence is a testament to the moving tenacity of individual lives and passions, people who know that we are all really plants, that need good soil, nurturing and our time in the sun too. Perhaps then some of the pieces from the Ashmolean will be brought here, or an Ark will really sail the river’s edge once again. Get mayor Boris on the case and tell him to stop going on about Dragon Feasts, or protecting The City. Much meat for such a fascinating area as Lambeth, stretching, in that dramatic near Ox Bow bend of the river that made this such swamp land, and seems to fold the whole world back on itself, straight to Southwark and theatreland, that centre of our own research, based on lost St Margaret’s church there. This is an epicentre of study though for such an opaique and fascinating time and one that of course completely rewrote our internal and external landscapes. You can capture that in the 17th century plaque on the wall outside St Mary’s, courtesy of a Mr Turberville. The family made a bequest of £100 a year to support two poor local boys of an extremely poor but burgeoning district, of the ‘Stink trades’, like tanning, glass making, pottery and butchery too, kept on that famously detrops ‘South of the River’ side. An area of course dominated by thousands of watermen too, the spitting cabies of their day, and there is a Sail street by Pratt’s Walk, for the cottage industries serving the all important river. But that self proclaiming bequest was made with the proviso that the good offices of the parish should not be directed towards “fishermen, watermen, chimney sweeps or Roman Catholiks“! So of course the last words must go to the master, Shakespeare, and his line from Cymbeline that “All golden lads and lasses must, as chimney sweepers, come to dust”. At least with a Garden Museum we can all be reminded that life’s ashes are always good for the beauiful roses.

DCD Phoenix Ark Press

Admission to the Garden Museum varies from between £5 and £7.50 for adults and £3 for Student concessions. The cafe is its own delight. To visit their website CLICK HERE

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PHOENIX RIGHT AGAIN!

There we are, it was a very small blog, but now the ‘Mitchelgate’ story is proving what dangers we are starting to face, or always did and will. Click Here In fact our point was not exactly with current thought, but more that a cry of ‘pleb’ is hardly a crime against humanity. But now the point is that, with such media power and fear of being caught in the spotlight, it emerges that a serving police officer may have fabricated evidence. It is ironically precisely why we need a free press, but one that dedicates itself to truth and proper investigative journalism. But how quickly those condemning voices are rushing in to change their minds!

PA PRESS

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WONDERFUL AUTUMN WATCH!

What is the love and genius at the heart of British TV, perhaps the strange UK, with the likes of our National Treasure, Sir David Attenborough, for all the supposed fakery about Polar Bears, or the just viewed wonderful and delightful Autumn Watch? It’s exactly what and why they quoted Gandhi, that the key measure of any society’s moral advancement is how it treats is animals, even with all our unkindness to chickens, yum, yum. The people on Autumn Watch are so natural, and naturally eccentric, so passionate about what they do, love and share, it is as entrancing as watching the footage of animals in the wild, or interacting in the studio.

For this ‘animal writer’, who forgot nature, forgot his readers and fans and forg0t where the power and source of his writing came from, it just brings joy. Only readers are right about whatever happened in America, and all that counts is the vision and passion that stories based in the wild bring. But of course, for love of animals, there is us as well, and love of us as well, in all that difficult ‘moral advancement’, competing, seeking, trying to understand, and such extraodinary and eccentic animals too. But apart from anything else, those passionate enthusiasts on Autumn Watch have so much fun!

DCD

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THE ASTONISHING OLYMPIC CLOSING CEREMONY

Now thick grey clouds cover London, the euphoria starts to wear off. We don’t think the audience quite got the implications on the comedy show ‘Mock the Week’ the other day, when Andy Parsons talked about Sir Ian McKellen at the opening of the Para-Olympics, and Magnito from the X-Men, but stopped short of mentioning “the mutants”. Then even Jimmy Carr, Master of the outrageous joke, has pulled himself in, perhaps after that slap about Jersey tax haven antics, and called this “our finest hour.” He was genuinely moved and involved, we hope not just on the advice of his PR advisers. Well, we can’t run a Marathon, always flopped the steeple chase and long back shot-our-put, but we can let our little fingers dance on typewriter keys.

Good God, the closing ceremony of the London Para-Olympics, and indeed the whole Para-Olympic and Olympic Games, has been so deeply moving and inspiring, we think we’ll vote for Boris Johnson (A Tory Mayor). Talking of God, did you note the pagan and seasonal rhythms of the whole thing, with an essential spirituality right at the heart of Weird UK? As for the Para-Olympics, the adversity those people have conquered and face daily puts Phoenix Ark to shame, but it isn’t even about that, it’s about different spectacles and perceptions, the astonishment of the human spirit, and the will to try and try again. The love shown in London, the human dignity and the shere explosion of talent, creativity and invention, is an inspiration to the World, including Coe’s speech at the end, and if we can wake up a little, we must start to seek one world solutions.

Just before the Games The New York Times ran an excellent lead editorial on the “Bread and Circuses” element of David Cameron doubling the opening ceremony budget. Perhaps, keep an eye out, but where the Romans steeped the masses in blood and cruelty, the Games have steeped Britain in rightful dignity. Out of such shames as the London Riots, with whatever social causes, yobs stealing from injured foreign kids, the horror of abuse in British care homes, or the never-ending spectacle of fingers shamelessly in the pie at the top. The stamp from the start has been inclusion, of everyone, not just the triumph of excellence, and for Games supposed to be a-political, they have been astonishingly and unashamedly political. Well, good for them, stand up for what you believe, and since politics these days seems to have no easy answers from Right or Left, if any at all, believe in something bigger than it all too.

That’s what the Games have really done, shown the enormous complexity and tradition of the British legacy, its astonishing history and culture, and blasted it into the future. Those opening and closing ceremonies proved the triumph, ignoring the dreadful mid-Games closing, not only of all those athletes, all those Games Makers, but of the artist and creator, and those ‘unacknowledged legislators of the world’, as Shelley called them, poets. Now The Flaming Lips have even been demoted to number two here, after Coldplay’s Mellow Yellow, (or ‘Rebel’ and ‘I used to Rule the World’), the Para-Olympic orchestra adopted as top classicists and we’ll see if that “momentum” talked about by David Cameron last night can carry into any visionary action in the UK, that will not make such Games a sideshow and let us all down. Namely can you just cut your way out of Recession and, if the UK needs a more visionary solution, who is the leader to bring it?

Then, to anyone despairing or giving up, not kicking against the pricks, not fighting again and again, (perhaps trying is a better verb), or even thinking it’s only about being British, remember it was a German Jew, Dr Gootman, who fought for injured lives out of the Second World War and started those games at Stoke Mandeville hospital, as everyone giggled or looked away, planting an extraordinary seed, we have just seen bloom in fire. Both the Para-olympic and ordinary Games have indeed come home and might convince us all that even the nasty Darwinian fight of nature is more complex than that, and that everything exists in a mutually sustaining bio-spheres, we are fully capable of wrecking. That the journey of life and consciousness, however frightening at times, is astonishing. So it is about the limits of human possibility, or lack of them, that must also wake up to the animal biosphere we emerged from too.

We all want to blub at times, seek the easy ideal, find the righteous cause, walk the rhetorical hire-wire, but for any raised eye at Coe’s “made in Britain” stamp, why not be extremely proud, and ride the wave of such creativity too in the World? That’s real life too, just as it is a truism that people in wheel chairs are as capable of being as nice or nasty as the rest of us, though have more to cope with. There is a profound difference between sentimentality and genuine sentiment though, between mad visions and the visionary, between schlock and real love, and these Games, both “able bodied” and “disabled”, have given us a visionary sentiment, most essentially because all of it was grounded in true intelligence and meaning. Rock and roll can indeed change the world, and so can you, even if it’s only yours. It may well be someone else’s.

PA PRESS

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THE SHARD AND SOUTHWARK

So Renzo Pianzo’s Shard finally opens officially, if mostly unoccupied! A soaring inspiration, a blinding nonsense or a blot on the landscape? Simon Jenkins calls the building, owned largely by the Quataris, ‘an outrage’ and nothing to do with the landscape and heritage of the area. He is largely right, though it is hard to keep in check the architectural visions and nightmares of London. Then, when the viewing gallery opens in 2013, perhaps it is a chance to look down on the history of little Southwark beneath and perhaps turn any fight towards Thames Water’s plans, or what preserving history in any area, but especially phenomenally important areas like Southwark, means. Perhaps the inspiration on the ground are real people, shops, businesses, Borough Market and the story of the theatres there 400 years ago.

ps Bless Boris johnson for his ‘Shardenfreude‘ joke to the Germans, but we are clearly all overgrown schoolboys and love our tribal quips, as the planet goes to the Isle of Dogs!

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DOG FIGHT

Mathew Wright’s report on dog fighting in London, and the soaring numbers of abandoned dogs too, was shocking. If Britain was once famous for kindness to pets, it has vanished, if London is the example. A US professor wrote to us when the riots started asking ‘what’s going on with your people?’ and if we are animals too, this shows something dark is up. It was tragic to to see pitbulls, trained for fighting, mutilated and having to be put down. Young boys and men using them as fighting accessories may be the real sign of fear on the streets, but it’s also a sign of a dislocation with ourselves, that such brutality is bred in, and fear and aggression supports itself.

It needs action and even tough love, as is suggested by a sign in Battersea Dogs HomeYou can tell the heart of a man from his treatment of animals’.It happened in Chicago too, that became the savage dog fighting capital of America, but the lesson from there, in the programme they instituted, is as ever, get tough, encourage zero tolerance, but also turn the poachers gamekeepers. So a guy famous for seeing the deaths of thousands of fighting dogs , is being paid to institute a programme of training and involvement. The dignity then shown to animals gives young men dignity, and greater knowledge and understanding. But they have to take the lead from the ‘tough guys’.

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CHITTI CHITTI BANG BANG TO BRIGHTON!

It felt like it had snowed this morning, along the Kennington Road, or Christmas had come early, as Londoners stepped out of their isolated boxes, stopped to stare and wave and spontaneously lined the 159 bus route. A man on a Penny Farthing came by in a top hat and then, interspersed with our awful, boring modern cars, a succession of the most glorious Chitti-Chitti-Bang-Bangs you have ever seen rattled past. What a wonderful sight, on the way to the shops, of just a snippet of today’s London to Brighton vintage car run. What proof that it’s always difference that makes us smile, like a snow shower, or a turn in the weather. Enthusiasts are their own lunatic breed, these decked out in time appropriate kit, riding some truly remarkable Heath Robinson machines, all polished up as though for an inspection of the Royal Navy – if we had one anymore. But no sour grapes, we have these.

Some of the cars were quite extraordinary, popping and spitting, shuddering and banging, hissing and bone-rattling, especially the one with no front end at all, so that four people sat face to face, two by two, not constrained by the straight-line inevitability of our tedious tarmaced roads. It would have had a field day on the curling drive of some big country house, in search of a spontaneous picnic. Most were open-topped, on a rather grey and chilly morning, but magnificent men and women were sheathed in woollens, flying jackets or barbers, patterned rugs around their knees, and wearing Biggles hats, many complete with fake moustaches. English, Welsh, even a French flag sprouted from the Brassoed fenders and in the middle of London the proud owners were waving back like the Queen. Oh, the glory of the age, although these cars spanned several decades, of those amazing eccentric and incredibly un-environmentally friendly machines and ahead, the wonder of the open road to Brighton. You half expected to see Toad come by, ‘Poop Pooping’, or truly scrumptiously striped fenders to open like magic fans and the whole, wonderful lot to take to the air. ‘Hi-ho vintage London to Brighton – we love you!’

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DERREN BROWN AND THE GUILT TRIP

The real Guilt Trip in the penultimate programme in hyper talented hypnotist Derren Brown’s new series ‘The Experiments’ became watching the thing at all. There were times when it was all stitched together in such a jolly japes way, like those murder mystery weekends you pay for, you either thought the victim, Jody, had to be an actor and the whole thing staged, or he was so ridiculously stupid for not twigging something was up. Especially when the actors around him were swapping plates at dinner, to make him think his memory was playing tricks on him. It’s a vital legal point to talk about guilt and to highlight that thousands every year confess to crimes they have not committed. The sadness of that in real life has much to say about society and the human condition, but it is also one of the reasons for the vital principles of British justice to allow a defence in any circumstance, and one of the reasons for Miranda Rights in the US too, so you do not actually incriminate yourself. Yet again though, seriousness was swapped for entertainment, in all the creaky piano music, the splattered blood and the procession down to the garden to lay the victim on the lawn at night. Again, no new ground was broken, because if Brown has proved hypnosis and suggestion are very real, starting with that remarkable show on ‘The Assassin’, where do you actually go from there? In this case familiarity with the subject is the enemy of an illusionist’s art. It was vaguely moving to see the release from it at the end, when Jody was confessing to a crime he did not commit, the fact that he was safe and didn’t bear a grudge, but it felt strangely empty too. It is a culture that has spread with programmes like Big Brother, or to an earlier generation with ‘You’ve Been Framed’, but people actually love to be involved, perhaps because it lets them experience extremes of emotion they just do not touch normally.

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THE TEST OF CAPITALISM, IN THE CRADLE OF DEMOCRACY?

The Greek Prime Minster Mr Papandreou’s test of the bailout deal is an absolutely critical moment. He is not rejecting it, he is trying to take it to the Greek people, and the cuts that are being imposed too, as part of the package. Is that not a true test of democracy, in the cradle of democracy, or the proof, in the shaking reactions of markets, of what has really happened to world democracy? Namely just what that loathed trader said, recently, that it is not Governments really in charge, but Goldman Sachs. It may highlight the problem of Greece joining the Euro-Zone in the first place, but it is actually a test of that trader’s words, a political compact, versus market inevitability – and whether Democracy really does exist, or what its limits are. You may think Greece has been handled lightly, that it brought many of its problems on itself, but you cannot too easily criticise the Prime Minister for following a democratic principle, in suggesting it. Commentators say this is an economic crisis, not a political one, but is that not exactly what protestors in London and New York are trying to talk about? Then though there are these worrying echoes out of the Greek army, that remind you of the days of the Colonels. We should all be flies on the wall at the lunch tomorrow, but then no one would get served any food!

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