Tag Archives: Giving up?


For that friend called Tim, who tried to lecture me about ingratitude or claiming the ‘right’ to be an artist, somehow going on about some abstract suffering too, bigger than others, I’d like him to know that two new backers, with £7 and £20, are quite as important as £199, or £6000, and have edged me forward too.

Thank you so much, because whatever you can afford is precisely the energy I was talking about. The minimum pledge is £1, but if it was 10p it is a kind of listening too, or that’s how I can at least know! Another way is simply to write to this blog. You see, just words from fans very literally kept me alive a long time ago, so I have a little more experience than Tim. Just as, if people think that raising an eyebrow after only 5 days is giving up, they should know that what I’m talking about is really trying to communicate over six years, not just 30 days.

I’ve done a slightly different thing today then and as well talking to Cynthia Kern at the New York Supreme Court (who I’ve emailed in, bless her cotton socks – go on Cynthia – take the pledge and make up for your rank act of injustice!), or about Michael Jacobs, Mr so-called anti-censorship in New York, I’ve done a little reading from Fell and also speak about good or bad friends too, that became such a monumental issue, in the isolation of it all. But why this was a very hard fought battle and the opposite of some lazy gripe or sob story. The eloquence of stories are the things that should make us sob or laugh, or shout with joy, the need for art, fantasy, drama, catharsis and a mirror to real lives too. But TS Eliot said the artist must separate out the suffering man from the work and maybe that is just a process. Why it was so difficult becoming the story, or that coal face between words and facts, fantasy and reality got far, far too close, with astonishing results.

Never surrender, Light of the White Bear will come out this year at least to ebook! But Tim, a precious friend, is damn well wrong if he thinks this is just complaining, or that I did not earn the right to be an artist. I did and in contract and in humanity my publisher, people I knew very well indeed, had a duty to honour it all. Politics became the driving force instead and it was exploited shamefully.

I don’t know, I am just trying to talk and be heard and you can judge it by CLICKING HERE

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So predictably the inevitable criticism comes about trying to tell the truth! Just to set the record straight, I’m very grateful indeed to those who pledged, with real hearts. It’s just that this isn’t a new phenomenon, Phoenix Ark was itself created to try and fight a system and explain a very particular story too, and that has been happening not for 30 days, but six years. Those who have not done it could not possibly know what it can be like, right or wrong.

Why in fact should someone pretend they get particular joy though from trying to even communicate, being the all singing promoter they are just not, or not wanting to send round robin emails or push people to take a Pledge, when they had dedicated their life to really communicating and really earned the right to do so too? I must be one of the only writers who told his fans if they didn’t like a story, including mine, then cast it aside and find a better on. It doesn’t matter, just a blip in the system, but when you see the same thing, again and again, who is it that actually stops to talk about the ‘culture’ of it all, the pressure or disconnection? I can assure you what happened over Light of the White Bear was absolutely savage. Go down with a smile, but really don’t be made to engage against the grain of who you are, ever. Besides, the proof of the pie’s in the eating and that’s fine too.

The final truth is that when noise is made you see the stats rising, but no change. Because there are real human beings behind all the Facebook fronts, the communication of how well you are doing, how pretty you are, how fine it all is, including me. So it means that people are willing to note the oddity, or give a tut tut, or a knowing smile, but not actually do a thing. You see I also know the vast majority of people who follow a blog are people I know. Woe betide them if they ever faced what I did, the room 101 to an author, a really rather extraordinary story too, but do they dare to step out of the frame themselves? Not often. The approach to Kickstarter remains then and if you could like to see the real reason the film is available by CLICKING HERE

In the meantime, it’s high time Phoenix Ark turned to comedy, and the London spring, much more fun!




Filed under America and the UK, Books, Childrens Books, Community, Culture